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Extra: Ordinary Moments

Dining room

Withdrawing
I'm drawing into myself now. It's that stage of pregnancy. As soon as Steve gets home, I retreat into a dark room and just... lie there. Most of the time, I don't even nap; I just lie on the bed, in the dark, and sometimes I remember to visualise a positive birth. I felt the same way last time - this deep need to hide from the world towards the end, to curl away somewhere warm and dark and quiet and safe, to have nobody around me but Steve.

That said, Matilda and I are having the nicest days at the moment. We both seem so calm while we play picnics and doctors and toy shops. We've pootled to the library and taken out every Topsy and Tim book she could find. We've hung out together, not feeling the need for anyone else. It's been lovely. Until 5pm when I want to go and hide.

Christmas cactus
Have successfully found a location the cats can't reach. Flowering for the first time in years.

On Saturday, Steve and Matilda headed into the garden to give me half an hour to myself. At which point a phone engineer appeared at the door - completely unexpectedly - wanting to sort out our broadband (which had been shuffling along at 17MB instead of the 63MB we're paying for for... goodness knows how long; as people who came of age in the dial up era, we hadn't really noticed).

I went into town in the afternoon instead. It wasn't the dark and quiet I was craving, but I didn't have to talk to anybody. I stuck to shops with self service tills. I skipped the novelty Christmassy hot chocolates because I didn't want to interact with baristas. I paid for the bus with my phone. I ACHED SO MUCH WHEN I GOT HOME.

Sunlight through autumn trees

Um...
So, usually, I break these posts up into a few little anecdotes. But that's it for this week: I'm retreating from the world and I'm ready for the baby (Wednesday night's pineapple curry did nothing to spur things along).

How are you?

Cat toy
Matilda broke Polly's scratching post (by standing on it to look out of the window); she chose this toy by way of apology.

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Please play nice.