Steve's Week Off Work

Matilda sleeping

Steve had last week off work. Unfortunately, Matilda was full of the cold from Tuesday onwards so our original plans for family fun and for Steve to sample the joys of baby groups had to be abandoned.

On the bright side, cosying up indoors together wasn't so awful (especially as the weather largely was)!

I managed to make it to my smear test (joy), half hour dental session (joy), a shiatsu massage (so needed after all these months of carting a baby around) and a preview of Suffragette (so good). I also had a meet up with some other Aberdeen bloggers but more on that to follow.

Spotty mug
Matilda reaching for the camera
Bean soup

I really noticed how different weeks off are now that I'm on maternity leave. When I worked, I spent the first half of my holidays being lazy and relaxed and doing very little then had a little panic towards the end because I thought I'd wasted my free time; now, it's the other way round - I spent the first half of the week stressing that I wasn't getting all the things done I wanted to (clean the bathroom; weed the garden; do some crafting; write a bit; give Steve a little time to himself etc etc etc), then calmed down around Wednesday.

I feel a bit frazzled sometimes; I feel like I'm living to deadlines (when's her next nap? next bottle? when's she going to wake up? will it be in time for us to get to whatever it is we have planned? do I have time to do whatever while she's asleep?). What I wanted from Steve's week off was the chance to do a few things without having to look at the clock.

Autumn leaves

It was only in the middle of the week that I realised that - that I went from thinking "I want to do all these things" to "I do want to do things but at a more relaxed pace". There was a huge sense of relief with that realisation; now that I recognise what causes my moments of stress, I can tackle it.

This makes me sound like I'm constantly rushing around, flapping a duster with one hand and spooning baby food with another and that's absolutely not the case. Matilda and I lead a fairly slow, calm life and I love the lazy hours spent reading while she naps on me. This is more the acceptance that it's okay that we both love losing our mornings to sitting on wet grass, examining leaves; that it's okay that neither of us took to that one class all of our friends seem to love; that it's preferable for her to see me (and Steve, of course) doing housework with a relaxed smile than stress lines; that there's nothing wrong with taking our time.

Sophie la Girafe
Sarah Rooftops swinging Matilda in the air in the park

So, there you go. Not the post I was expecting to write two weeks ago. But a contented one, nonetheless.

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