The Rooftops Baby Estimated Due Date: How Am I Today?

Today is my/the baby's estimated due date. I know this because it says so in my calendar and my maternity notes but I've tried not to focus on this one specific day and, for the most part, I've succeeded.

They're called estimated due dates for a reason. Only 5% of babies arrive on their due date and the majority of first babies come later. If it arrives of its own accord within the next two weeks, it's still within the normal, healthy delivery window; I don't want to spend those two weeks getting myself worked up by referring to the baby as "late".

I seem to be in the minority with this view, though. The number of "Hey... how are you today...?" messages I'm getting suggests that a lot of the people in my life are viewing this as some sort of deadline. So, okay: let's give it a little significance.

How am I today?

I'm doing great.

I know I'm supposed to be at the end of my tether by now. I know I'm supposed to be mainlining red leaf tea and eating so much pineapple my teeth fall out. I suspect if I'd worked right up until my maternity leave started, perhaps I would be - I would be much more focused on the end being in sight; I would be much more aware of not wanting to waste my precious time off work.

But, for the most part, I'm not.

There are bad days. There are days when the baby moves itself onto some vital part of my internal plumbing and I feel so uncomfortable that I want to call the hospital in tears and demand that they remove it. Those days are the exception, though; they're maybe one in ten.

And there are moments - mostly in the evening, when Steve's home and we're feeling the kicks together - when I feel this desperate, overwhelming need to hold the baby now.

But, over all, I'm calm.

Partly this is because I still don't really believe it's going to happen. My body, suddenly going through all of that physical drama and producing a baby at the end? Preposterous. Ludicrous. Totally implausible. I mean, sure, Steve and I are going to have a child pretty soon but it's coming one of the old fashioned ways: stork or cabbage patch. It's in transit right now. I'm waiting for the doorbell.

Partly it's because I've been pregnant so long that I've accepted this as my default state. I'm someone who waddles around and has trouble getting out of bed and eats a lot of ice cream. I forget that this isn't forever.

But mostly it's because I'm actually enjoying these last few days or weeks. I may not be comfortable but I'm very aware that, once the baby's here, I will never again be pregnant with this particular child (I may never again be pregnant at all but that's too big a question for today). I'm taking the time to sit and feel the baby's squirms and rolls and stretches; I'm feeling it moving itself into position. This child has strong movements and rarely rests - I could let myself focus on how bruised my belly feels but I'm choosing not to; I'm choosing to focus on this secret, super-connected time we have. It's special. It's fleeting. (I love this secret hitch hiker analogy from The Headless Mannequin)

And I'm enjoying these last excited moments, holding Steve's hand and grinning at each other. With this pregnancy, we both found ourselves reining in our emotions - I didn't properly relax until the twenty week scan, until I knew for certain that all those movements I was feeling were kicks not wind; Steve seemed to take longer. But now there's no holding it back.

It's funny - there's so little company I can take at the moment. A couple of hours and a cup of tea with a friend is lovely but, for the most part, I want to be on my own. I want quiet. I want to breathe through the discomfort without feeling self-conscious; I want to move from chair to yoga ball to bed and back at my own pace. I don't feel the need to have anyone on hand. Except Steve. I want Steve here all the time; I feel impatient towards the end of the day, waiting for him to appear. I want him around sharing it all with me.

There may be one more hour of this; there may be two more weeks. Two weeks, compared to the whole pregnancy, is nothing. I don't want to waste them on drumming my fingers; I want to appreciate the moment.

So how am I today?

Today, I'm doing great.

See Also: My 20 week, 30 week and full term FAQs.

20 comments

  1. This is lovely (and hooray for feeling great!). And yep, definitely a stork delivery coming up, nothing too messy or painful, oh no.

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  2. Glad you are feeling good and relaxed (generally!). :-) xo

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  3. Glad to hear you're doing well! I have to admit, in a way that's not really creepy but sort of sounds creepy, that part of the reason I've remembered to check my blog feed reader recently is to see if you've had your baby. Is that weird? (I promise I'm not stalking you.) Sending many good thoughts your way!

    I agree with the other commenters; I'd be much more keen on having kids if they were delivered via stork or cabbage patch. :)

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  4. So glad you are doing well! I can totally understand the need for quiet. <3

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  5. Ha ha - it's not the mess or the pain; I just don't seem to believe in labour. It seems such an inefficient way of reproducing.

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  6. Ha - no! If anyone understands why this baby is worth checking your blog feed for, it's me. :-)

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  7. So glad you are doing well :)

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  8. 11 days to go until our due date and I'm eating that pineapple and scoffing curry! :D I totally agree though, can I even remember what it was like to walk properly and put my own socks on? Not really! And I know this big day will come but after all this time it still doesn't quite seem real. Meanwhile I'm enjoying pottering about on my own too! x

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  9. The joys of the delivery window, Ciaran was bang on his due date (which is awesome as he was our 666 baby!!) and Aaron was 8 days after he was meant to join us.

    Your little one will join you when he/she is ready to, enjoy these last few moments as things will never be like that again!!

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  10. Yay, glad you're doing so well! I hate all this bollocks about due dates. I mean, having a baby is nature at its best yet we humans have made it all about time, as always. So screw them, and keep on enjoying these last few special days before the pregnancy is over :)

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  11. My not-being-pregnant focus is, "Ooh! I'll be able to moisturise my feet again!" Something in my brain really hasn't connected this huge bump to a life changing event yet!

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  12. Steve came on his due date. I know, right?!

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  13. Yay! If there's one thing we can't regulate, it's this.

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  14. Glad you liked my hitchhiker analogy :) I've loved your posts on pregnancy - I remember reading your one on pelvic pain right as I'd fallen into the grips of it and knew nothing about it and thought I had some awful but unique pregnancy symptom!! I know exactly what you mean about forgetting that pregnancy isn't forever either and that there's the small issue of labour to get through at the end of this! Like you I'm not in any rush and I really just want to hit the slow-mo button so I can savour every moment (in between the occasional less than savoury moments :) ) Delighted to hear you're doing well though and I hope you enjoy every second that's left of your pregnancy before you get to meet your little bundle in person :)

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  15. I know what you mean about enjoying the moment. I was in no rush to get my 13 day and 12 day late wee men out. Definitely wasn't as impatient about evicting them as others were. The curry, speed bumps, hot baths etc are all fun but as you know bambino will arrive when he/she feels like it. xxx

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  16. Yep, they know when they're ready, right?

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Please play nice.